The Bachelor Analysis I

Whose dream of marrying someone this corny will end tonight?

Transcript of official The Bachelor analysis taken from a Gchat conversation last night between Bachelor authority Risa and myself:

Risa: that show is way too long

7:43 PM me: seriously

7:44 PM Risa: he's not that interesting

me: it's hard to assess his personality

he doesn't seem hilarious

Risa: no he doesn't

me: or that intelligent

7:45 PM Risa: he seems pretty average

me: i bet he has a temper

he seems pretty boring

Risa: yeah

me: none of these girls is hilarious

none of the girls is ever hilarious

Risa: true

me: it's all just serious

Risa: they're all ready to move

for love

me: it's really nutty

7:46 PM no one is funny

they live in a world

where no one laughs

Risa: no

they are all desperate

and make women look beyond pathetic

me: love is on the line

Risa: "it was always my dream to be taken shopping!!!"

7:47 PM in the next episode, a girl gets to wear a really expensive necklace!!!!

7:49 PM me: so dumb

why the hell

would i care

if got a necklace on loan

Risa: because it is your life long dream

for a tv show

to give you a necklace

to wear temporarily

7:50 PM me: ha

Risa: jason is so amazing

i think he's the one that got away from me

me: ha

haha

Risa: they also talked about his body

me: hahaha

i want to talk about his hairline

Risa: although

i saw he had back-ne

me: really

i didnt see that

Risa: it was spotted by me

in a close up

the foreign woman

was wearing the yellow dress

that kate hudson wore

7:52 PM in how to lose a guy

me: oh really?

i thought the dress

was bizarre

and too big

from Zum Zum or Jessica McClintock

VERY embarrassing

Risa: yeah

me: if deanna wins this

i won't be able to go on

it would be too cruel

7:53 PM who died and made her king

Risa: she's the new trista rehn me: ugh

nikki is hideola

she looks like swamp thing

and the stretch marks

Risa: i'm not sure who i like

me: on her boobs are ridiculous

i mean

this show is not broadcast in hi-def

and i could SEE those stretch marks

abort abort