Riots at the America's Next Top Model Auditions

This is what happens when you insinuate that I'm not a model

By now you may have heard that there was a stampede at the America's Next Top Model auditions for midgets in NYC this Saturday, which resulted in three people being arrested and six being trampled with injuries, which is pretty hilarious. Several of you have emailed me demanding an explanation for the "fracas" because there are a lot of rumors flying about how the stampede started, including an unlikely one about how someone said a car was on fire near the audition.

Well, the truth is that I was standing in line in my bikini, fur vest and cowboy hat, and I told this girl in front of me that she was just wasting her time because she didn't have a fresh personality or take fierce pictures. The girl then began to insinuate that I was not a model, at which point I had to take out my bunion, show her that in fact I AM a model, and then unfortunately I had beat her down with my bunion for disrespecting me and that's when things got ugly.