Celebrity Charities

On Memorial Day, as I was sitting in Central Park with a few of my friends who also were giant losers and didn't have plans, Risa mentioned my amazing Christopher Reeve impression and we started talking about celebrities and their pet charities. I actually don't buy it when celebrities become crusaders for charities that benefit themselves, like Michael J. Fox being obsessed with Parkinsons and Christopher Reeve pestering everyone to do stem cell research. Like I buy into these causes in general, but when these celebrities become spokespeople of the causes after they themselves are afflicted with it, it's not really altruistic because it DIRECTLY BENEFITS THEM, and what they're essentially asking you to do is forget whatever charities you were into before, time to fork over your money directly to them so that they can get better soon and continue to wear ruby encrusted bathrobes and live in giant compounds.

I mean, if Christopher Reeve hadn't fell off a horse and broken his back, do you really think he would care that much about stem cell research. Or if Lance Armstrong hadn't had testicular cancer, would he really be obsessed with plastic bracelets and living strong. The only way celebrities can legitimately support charities is if they pick a cause in advance like heart disease or whatever and then hope that they later have a heart attack so that they will have picked the right one. Like Sarah MacLachlan supports the ASPCA (because the ASPCA rules), and as far as I know, no one has has skinned her for her fur or done cosmetic testing in her eyes so people can know for sure that her support of this cause is legitimate and not because she was trampled by a bear.