Economy Not That Bad, Calm Down

Andrew Jackson's crisis was worse

Everyone seems to be having a heart attack about the economy these days, and every day on CNN the lead picture on the homepage is another corny picture of a guy in a stock exchange jacket covering his face with his hand to indicate he's panicking/sad/stressed out/doesn't know how he's going to make ends meet. People are like saying that it's the worst financial situation since the shit hit the fan in 1987 or since the Great Depression, but frankly I think there's no need to panic until they say that it's worse than the Andrew Jackson Savings 'N Loan Crisis of 1832, which was REALLY bad according to my 10th grade final.

In any event, just to prove to people that this latest bank thing is not Armageddon and that there are ways around this mortgage crisis crap, CNN had this article about some 90 year old woman who shot herself in the chest when she found out that her house was going to be foreclosed on. When Fannie Mae heard about the attempted suicide, they stopped the foreclosure proceedings and just deeded the home to her outright. So if you're wasting time worrying about your mortgage going up and like not being able to make payments, time to calm down because worse comes to worse you can always shoot yourself and get your place for free.