Stop Wearing Angel

"A sensual journey of starry seduction"

Over the past few weeks, Nordstrom, Neiman Marcus, Saks and Bloomingdales have stepped up their advertising game and have sent me about 30,000 booklets of all the crap that's on sale or other crap that they want me to buy. One of the things that all of these stores is pumping hardcore is the Thierry Mugler Angel Ultimate Seduction Holiday Set, featuring perfume, a mini perfume, bath gel and body lotion that "drench the skin in an indulgent celestial fantasy." The main problem with this set is that people need to stop wearing Angel because that is my perfume and I've actually been wearing it since sophomore year of college so if you started wearing it more recently, that means you've been stealing the idea from me.

Angel smells like vanilla + patchouli + chocolate + extreme seduction and one of the unfortunate parts about wearing it for so long is that I obviously can no longer smell it on myself in normal doses, which therefore requires me to dump half of the bottle on my head and then gargle with the rest on a daily basis. Every time I go to the Angel station in Bloomingdales to have my bottle refilled from the Angel tank which stores the blue liquid like a giant lemonade dispenser, I ask the sales person if they sell a lot of Angel or if people come to get their Angel bottles refilled, with the correct answer obviously being that no, I am the only one, but the guy there is always like, "oh yes, EVERYBODY wears Angel - it's really popular," thereby infuriating me. Seriously, that shit is my signature sent, and I would greatly appreciate it if all these stores stopped trying to get everyone to smell like me because if everyone is wearing it then that's going to dilute the seduction effect for everyone involved.

P.S. This does not apply for Angel for Men, which all men should wear at all times.