Amazing Hanukkah Present

I'll take four

Just in time for Hanukkah, the Dossier Book of the Priory of Sion has been released with a detailed family tree of Jesus' bloodline, a list of Grand Master Priory members the Knights Templar and secret emails that are key to proving that Jesus' descendants are still alive and in fact working at FedEx Kinko's in Union, New Jersey. Needless to say, I will be buying this gift for everyone as well as a copy for myself because $34.95 for information that will inevitably lead to concrete evidence that Jesus married Mary Magdalene, didn't die on the cross, took a canoe to the south of France, stayed there for 30 more years where he sired ten children and reigned unobtrusively, is the surely greatest bargain of our time