Bigfoot

"In spite of everything, I still believe"
-Anne Frank

Everybody knows that I don't read the news because it's a snoozefest, but one story I HAVE been following very closely is the whole discovery of Bigfoot by these guys from Georgia. When I first saw the convincing pictures of the Bigfoot carcass in the freezer, I dared to dream that the elusive beast had finally been captured, and that I now could dedicate 100% of my time to the hunt for Nessie, the Lochness monster. I remained hopeful when Penn Gillette called the carcass pictures "a piece of meat wearing a Halloween wig" and I stood fast as people told me that I, in fact, was living in Narnia if I thought Bigfoot was real.

Sadly, yesterday the Georgia people revealed that it was "just a joke" and acted like everyone who actually believed them was actually insane because, according to these jerks, "it's Bigfoot...Bigfoot does not exist." I'm sorry but that's REALLY offensive, especially when indisputably legitimate organizations such as BFRO (Bigfoot Field Researchers Organization) and Bigfoot Encounters are hot on the trail of the friendly monster and are thisclose to finding the creature in his natural habitat of U.S. states with high illiteracy rates. Until somebody provides me with conclusive proof that Bigfoot does NOT exist and that Harry and the Hendersons was a sham, I will continue to lobby for his inclusion in scientific textbooks along with Intelligent Design and when they actually do find him I will immediately update this blog with another "I called it" post and brag about it for no less than 3 days.