Say Yes to the Dress

Gorgeous

One of my favorite shows besides Rock of Love, Rock of Love 2, I Love New York, Wife Swap, Intervention, Breaking Bonaduce and I Know My Kid's a Star, is Say Yes to the Dress on Bravo. In it, brides to be who have lost all sense of reality and are currently living in Narnia roll up to Kleinfeld's bridal store in NYC in search of the "perfect" wedding dress. All the brides on the show are either Italian or Jewish pieces of trash and they have boring sob stories about how their dads always dreamed of walking their daughter down the aisle, how they've been planning their wedding since they could crawl and how it will the most glorious day of their lives. The show flashes a picture of the bride with her fiance who is usually fat and/or bald and always wearing sunglasses so as to conceal his identity so his friends don't see him on the show and ridicule him until he calls off the engagement and he doesn't get fired from his import/export job.

Needless to say the show is completely ridiculous with people crying hysterically after seeing themselves in corny gowns. However the most alarming part is that every bride appears to be picking the same Moulin Rouge Pnina Tornai gown which features a TRANSPARENT bustier top, a corset lace up back and a table cloth wedding cake explosion bottom. I think literally 7 brides from the show bought the dress and everybody acted as if it was completely normal to wear Fredrick's of Hollywood lingerie to their weddings. This either means that this particular crop of brides were insane (likely) or that this if the future of wedding fashion, and that by the time I get married (in Narnia) I will have missed the boat and I'll be forced to wear a see-through g-string and Priscilla of Boston nipple covers and everyone will act casual.

In other news, Disney has a line of wedding gowns out and I now feel the apocalypse is very near.