Intervention

[insert haunting xylophone music here]

On Monday as I was sitting on my couch watching Intervention and drinking a Smirnoff Ice because that's the way I roll, it reminded me that the whole problem with the show, which in general rules to a very high degree, is that you can always tell how serious the addicts problem is by who they get to be the interventionist. Like if Jeff van Vonderen is on the case, you know the producers are taking that shit VERY seriously, and the addict is going to be told that there are a bunch of people who love him, they feel like they're losing him and they just want to invite the addict to join the fight, and that they're going to say what they're gonna say, the addict is gonna say what he's gonna say and then they're done, and it ends with the addict going to rehab and staying sober. If the addict is beyond help (um, CRISTY) or will likely go to rehab and then immediately relapse and the intervention is a joke, they get chipmunk Ken Seeley who brags about his old addiction to meth so that Jeff's reputation for 100% ass kicking and recovery doesn't get ruined. If the producers REALLY think the addiction is ridiculous, like a tanning or compulsive shopping, they call in Candy Finnigan, because Jeff isn't touching that shit with a ten foot pole, and even Ken's people have advised him that it's bad for his image.

In any event, I'm not sure how Intervention is still on, because the show is premised on the idea that none of the addicts own a tv or have ever watched A&E before and therefore would know that if someone tells them they're filming them for a documentary about addiction they should be expecting an intervention in a hotel room in approximately 2 weeks.