Monday, March 22, 2010
Normally the news bores me to tears, except in the past few weeks there's been an amazing story about some white woman name Colleen LaRose from the Midwest having the usual midlife crises where she converted to Islam, married a random man in some country, joined a chat group and planned a suicide mission. Not sure why she couldn't just wear Kymaro body shapers or take strip aerobics and call it a day like every other middle age woman, but whatever. The best part about this story is that her chat screenname was Jihad Jane, which is literally the most genius screenname I've ever heard of. It's very difficult to come with funny screennames because you're limited in characters and also people have taken all the good ones like Bunions15 or BretMichaelsBand, and to come up with and actually GET a screenname that hilariously and cleverly references G.I. Jane is pure gold. I'm just surprised that no one on the violent Jihad chat site claimed that shit before but I guess these people don't really have a sense of humor. I once worked for a company where I had to clone web pages and the best screennames I could come up with there were "CalvinClone" and "MyLittleClony" which were pretty good but Jihad Jane is far better relatively speaking and someone on the news should at least acknowledge that.
Thursday, March 18, 2010
Me: "Notice anything different?"
Me: "UM, How about the fact that I've been using the Retin-A samples that my dermatologist gave me for three weeks now religiously."
Me: "I literally look 15 years younger. I actually look 15."
Co-worker: "I mean, you do have a certain glow about you."
Me: "That's because I'm pregnant."