Another Thing I'm Thankful For

This never gets old

Happy Thanksgiving

Rare vintage photo of old nose, which has been replaced with a better one, THANKFULLY

Happy Thanksgiving to all you three readers out there today. In the spirit of the holiday, I have made a list of all the things I am thankful for, in order of thankfulness, from most to least. Here it is:

1. Regrowth of my eyebrows since ACCIDENTALLY over tweezing
2. Perry
3. Michael Jackson
4. Friends/Family
5. Not having HPV
6. My job
7. Ebay
8. Being a wonderful listener and friend
9. Celebrities
10. My nose job
11. My landlord renting my apartment to me again at a lower rent
12. Bret Michaels
13. Sex Rehab with Dr. Drew
14. More insider reports on Scientology
15. Compliments
16. Noticeable lessening of my prune chin due to cumulative effects of Botox over time
17. Vacations
18. My parents finally stopping trying to suggest that I should go back to working in a law firm
19. Looking better than most of the people I went to high school with
20. The American Express smiley face commercial
21. Dog shows

What are you thankful for? Tomorrow I will post a comprehensive list of things that are still left to complain about.

The View from Narnia

"Now I drop the top down just to shout to hoes"*

*Note AT&T quiz on top right (click to enlarge)

The View from Narnia

Lumineer computer rendering of how I would look with veneers,
4 extra teeth and a piano in my mouth

In Memoriam: Myles (1998-2008)

Yesterday, LIN commenter Rachsky's Pomeranian, Myles, suffered a ruptured gallbladder and tragically died. Myles was ten years old and Rachsky rescued him three and a half years ago. I only met him once, but he seemed to me a happy and mischievous boy who adored his owner. Just three weeks ago he snagged honorable mention for his giraffe costume in the Tompkins Square Halloween Dog Parade and took home the coveted bone-shaped cookie cutter prize. Since all dogs go to heaven, something tells me that Myles is in the big Louis Vuitton bag in the sky, eating a steak doused in peanut butter. Rest in peace, Myles. Please keep KC and Pretty Boy company. We'll miss you.

"I have sometimes thought of the final cause of dogs having such short lives and I am quite satisfied it is in compassion to the human race; for if we suffer so much in losing a dog after an acquaintance of ten or twelve years, what would it be if they were to live double that time?"

--Sir Walter Scott

Unacceptable: Biggest Loser Romances

Logistically impossible

Yesterday, I went to the Us Magazine site as usual to ensure that no celebrity news had happened overnight, and I was assaulted with the horrifying news that Rebecca and Christian Daniel from the Biggest Loser are now “dating.” I'm happy that they've "found love" or whatever and they seem like decent people but could anything be more disgusting. Two regular sized people touching each other is already disgusting, but add in obesity, loose skin flapping everywhere and nothing could be worse. If they are touching each other, it should happen in private in the dead of night with parkas on and there shouldn’t be an entire article TALKING about how much they talk with each other and “connect.” I do not want to hear that and frankly neither does America.

The View from Narnia

"Understated"