Tuesday, August 18, 2009


You again

We interrupt my tooth complaints to bring you some outrageous news on the My Ear saga. The ear story ended with me getting on the phone with "Paul" from "Lenox Hill Billing Associates" who had informed me that the going cost of looking up my nose and in my ear, prescribing me medication that didn't work, performing absolutely no lab tests, sending me a to a hearing aids place without even ASKING me if I thought I was going deaf where I was forced to spend $355, was $750. I kindly told "Paul" that $750 was actually illegal under the rent control laws, and he then informed me that he would forward my claim on to collections if I didn't pay within 14 days. I made several other compelling arguments, such as crying, informing him that they actually told me it was going to be $140 on the phone, and confirming that no gold had been deposited by Dr. Lim in my nose that would account for $750 worth of medical services. Paul eventually lowered the charge to $300, which I grudgingly paid in exchange for the right to complain about health insurance till I die and to just to have this whole ordeal over with. Or so I thought.

People always ask me why I check my mail every few weeks instead of every day and it's because the entire purpose of the mail is to send people bad news slowly and to do it in the most passive aggressive manner possible. Every time I get my mail, someone's notifying me that I went over my minutes, used more electricity this month or trying to guilt me into sending $5 to someone with lymphoma. In any event, I checked the mail tonight and sure enought, it contained ANOTHER BILL from Manhattan Eye & Ear. Is that a fucking joke. Apparently ME&E thinks they can send me a bill in May for $750, make me think that I've paid it all then then sneak attack me FOUR MONTHS LATER for a $260 "1 Eval/Mgt Est Expanded Focu" in the hopes that I forget that I actually paid them $300 three months ago and that I get overwhelmed and tricked by the words "Eval/Mgt Est Expanded Focu" which appears to be a Chinese buffet item. They also outrageously thought they could cut the bill on August 8 and make it due on August 18, like it was some kind of emergency that I pay IMMEDIATELY when they in fact specifically waited till August to send it to me in the hopes that I would be on vacation so that I wouldn't see it and they could send it on to collections because the main part of bill collector's job satsifaction comes from ruining lives and embarrassing people.

Tomorrow morning I plan to call ME&E and inform them that I will be paying the new bill IN NARNIA and that they can take whatever fake new bills they're planning to send to me for future invented Eval/Mgt Est Expanded Focu's over Columbus Day, Thanksgiving and Christmas and throw them out the window because I already paid for this shit and I have insurance now so they need to calm down and stop treating me like an indigent.

1 comment: