Tuesday, July 14, 2009

The Bachelorette -- Still Embarrassing

Hi, it's Megan again. Due to a DVR conflict (there are really too many things on Monday nights!), Marin missed the first 45 minutes of The Bachelorette, and so I will provide my comments (as well as Marin's, received via text, from the portion of the show she did see).


9:17pm (at which point I pressed play on my DVR)

ropes courses do not build real relationship "trust"

um, helmet = not flattering

can she please stop bargaining with kiptyn for kisses

so embarrassing

also, i hate when she winks


i can't deal with the fantasy suite - rose petals and whatnot

not looking good in the confessional shots - but not looking as bad as lest episode with the center parted hair (busted)

oh christ - helicopter - that shit is getting really old

i would be like, "no thanks, i'll meet you where you're going"

she's so NEEDY - i NEED him to tell me how he's feeling, i NEED to hear that he's ready for marriage. hello, you've been dating for 2 weeks

"are you ready to propose at the end of this" = not romantic

bubble bath - too ridiculous

um, ed's tank top is NOT OK

are they lying on a trampoline? wtf

his tiny green bathing suit is also not ok - why is he dressed like a european gay man

why does his chest hair creep up onto his neck

NEITHER OF ED'S PARENTS ARE REMOTELY ASIAN - marin and tiffany are so busted

enough with the rose petals

what is that henley-slash-negligee?!?

it's a poor man's boyfriend T


um they are rubbing oil all over each other - this is R rated

AS A CAMERA MAN AND BOOM MIC are one foot from them

OMG - why don't they just come right out and say that ED CAN'T GET AN ERECTION

it's so fucking surreal - how could anyone get it up

oh god these stupid fucking video messages

OMG - reid just referenced what happened in the fantasy ssuite as the "best night of his life"

um reid just called himself her honey bear, please shoot me

what the hell is ed wearing ot the rose ceremony - pale blue blazer? weirdo

she's having another bad hair day at this rose ceremony

why don't they just come out and say ed had an erection problem? it doesn't violate FCC rules

i don't know if that's what happened - it kinda just seemed like neither of them were int he mood. am i retarded?

no, it was clear that jill was just covering for him - when she pulls him aside and he basically says in code "i can get an erection, don't worry"

i don't know

what would YOUR level of concern be

my main concern would be that i had sex with 3 different guys in 3 days

i mean - i guess if there were 10 camera people in my face, i was covered in rose petals and my parents were 15 feet away, i can't blame him

that's what i'm saying.

poor reid. how do you do sexies with someone and then dump them the next day - so weird

luckily for reid, jillian looks like shit during that goodbye

marin rosenthal - risa said she'd fight me for him, but i think we're more compatible because of trust issues and committment issues, etc.

no, you are 100% incompatible because of his germ issues - he would walk into your apartment, collapse on the floor and actually die

i'm just going to facebook him and ask him who he wants more - me or risa

10:32pm (end)

And there you have it folks! Open threads for the comments -- is Ed gay (not that there's anything wrong with that, but it would explain why he couldn't get it up with Jillian)? Are jumpers OK (they look fine on people with cute bodies like Jillian and Risa, but really? Shorts/pants connected to a top? Must be annoying when you need to pee).

P.S.: Addressing a concern raised in the comments to my previous post -- let me reassure you that she still has ZERO health insurance (at least until she completes her "probation" period at her new marketing/sales type job). Accordingly, she can still make jokes about no health insurance (and hence the fund for her impending root canal by a "superstar" endodentist).


subdividedkid said...

I want to know why ABC, America, or anyone watching thinks it is completely okay, safe, and natural for Jillian to have sex with three different guys in three different consecutive days.

Just 'cause it happened in the fantasy suite doesn't make it less trashy than Rock of Love, Daisy of Love, I Love New York, Tila Tequila, or any slutty show on VH1.

If I were Kiptyn or Ed-- I'd call her a slut to her face, and helicopter outta there.

Prediction: Kiptyn is going to say he's not ready to propose marriage to her after 2 weeks of dating her on national television-- which will greatly offend her because she is selfish and needy.

Mike said...

I have nothing to say. Instead, I will merely shake my head and sigh.

Milan said...

I prefer Megan Wants a Millionaire, Daisy of Love, Rock of Love etc., because the people there are almost universally good-looking and pretty much know that it is all they have going for them. They have a good time and behave promiscuously and do not feel the need to justify any of it with exclamations of undying love.

Flavor and New York are similar but with unattractive people, which makes these shows as gross as the bachelorette but less phony.