Wednesday, May 6, 2009

R.I.P. Crunch Gyms

More like Credit Crunch - ZING

Today, Crunch Gyms filed for bankruptcy. Well, I could have predicted this. Their motto is "No Judgments" but that's about to change because a bankruptcy court is going to render a judgment against them - ZING. The truth of the matter is the Crunch gyms are a steaming pile of shit. I was briefly and tragically a member of Crunch in 2005 when I first moved to New York, and didn't realize that Crunch was very low on the gym totem pole, ranking somewhere below Equinox, New York Health & Racquet Club, NY Sports Club, but somewhere about Dolphin Fitness, which is truly the worst and most repulsive gym in NYC. The machines at Dolphin are always dripping in other peoples' sweat, there is no A/C and the locker room has no bench to sit on and the entire place is always filthy, which is acceptable for my apartment but is not ok for a gym.

But anyway, back to Crunch. Their "claim to fame" is that they're known for their their see through walls which look out on to the street so that the people inside can run on the treadmill while simulataneously bragging to pedestrians about it. They're also have "world famous fitness classes," which change every month. These classes are all based around gimmicky names or gimmicky fitness equipment with very little actual workout going on. I once went to a "Bosu Bootcamp" class, which involved jumping up and down on that dome shaped rubber pimple apparatus while people doing real work outs stare into the glass-walled class. The workout was lead by a fat instructor which did not inspire much confidence and the workout was a joke.

I would say good riddance, but I wonder if this means that Equinox will get even more crowded, if that is even possible.

4 comments:

subdividedkid said...

I always thought the "No Judgments" tag line was just cruel irony that let their staff guffaw in private.

lawrence said...

see through walls = windows?

lawrence said...

see through walls = windows?

Jengwei said...

I read that Crunch gyms will still be operating, they are just getting reorganized and possibly merged with other gyms. The only one in NYC they are closing down is one near Times Square.