Friday, June 12, 2009

Reason #347 Why I Love the East Village


So I was just walking Perry down my block when this guy was bent over right in front of us picking up something off the sidewalk where Perry usually pees. So I drag Perry around the man and see that he is picking up pieces from balls of weed (dimebags? as you can see I do drugs often) that had fallen out of a clear plastic bag in hand which contained more weed in broad daylight with not a car in the world. He finishes picking them up and then says "Hello sexy" then puts his bag full of drugs up to Perry's nose to sniff and says "I think he'd like some" to which I replied, "He's straight edge," and pull Perry away from that shit because he has an addictive personality and marijuana is a gateway drug. The exceedingly high dealer then says "Oh shit, haha!" and asks me if I've just gone to the gym so I tell him yes and then he asks if I'm going to work, and I say, no I'm walking my dog. I then walk ahead of him and this woman has two Shih Tzus with neon pink hairdye on their heads, and so I say to their owner "Nice color." The drug dealer than catches up to me and starts hugging this woman's boyfriend who hands over a wad of cash in exchange for the bag that fell on the sidewalk, and then dealer starts walking away and yells back at me, "If you need something too, I'm on this block every day," to which I respond "Terrific" and then walk 30 feet to my extremely secure apartment.

2 comments:

G Wolf said...

I think I got a contact high from reading that.

Jenni said...

how is the cleanse going?