Concerts I Might Be Interested In

Imaginary logo from a band that does not exist

Live Nation just sent me an emails of concerts that I "mights be interested in." Given that I have purchased Counting Crows and Weird Al tickets through them before, Live Nation suggested that I go see Shpongle, The Helio Sequence or Giant Panda Guerrilla Dub Squad. Since I've also purchased Goo Goo Doll tickets (deal with it), Live Nation also astutely recommended tickets for Ex Parte and The Reverend Peyton's Big Damn Band. Other bands on the list included The Acacia Strain, Excuse Me, Columbia and Clutch. At first I thought maybe I should go to iTunes and listen to these bands, none of which I've ever heard of, but I then concluded that what was actually going on was that these are made up names of non-existant bands and someone was just trying to prank me and make me look like an idiot. So kudos to Live Nation for an early April Fool's joke. Nice try, guys - you almost had me there for a moment.

Popcorn on the Train

Repulsive

Last Thursday I was on the rush hour train to Montclair, NJ to see the Counting Crows - SEE, I DIDN'T EVEN BLOG ABOUT IT LAST WEEK. I obviously made it onto the train with 1 minute to spare so I was standing between cars with a bunch of people sweating and furious that I am always late for things and always running around and getting sweaty and agitated. As I was trying to calm myself down from killing someone, this fat couple in belted leather coats next to me whip out this olde tyme circus popcorn in those white boxes with the red vertical stripes that says crap like "pop corn" and "hot, crisp, delicious." This is not Pop Secret Lite, this is the kind of bright yellow popcorn that you get in a giant bag if you buy a new car and is rubbery, gross and under no circumstances delicious.

Anyway, so these people are clutching their boxes of popcorn and cramming it into their faces, with half of the kernels falling onto the floor and then greedily washing it down with Coke Zero (HAHA) which the guy then handed to the woman who replaced it into her ludicrously fake Louis Vuitton bag on the floor. Apart from this completely unacceptable scene, the stench from the popcorn was overpowering and infiltrated the air for the entire train ride. It was basically the equivalent of these people slathering themselves in tuna and acting like they weren't ruining everybody's air. I mean, if you're going to open popcorn or salami on a closed train, why not just grab a fan and blow farts directly in my face. In any event, my anger increased to the point of no return and so I attempted to exact my revenge by saying to the person next to me, "Smells like the Big Apple Circus in here," which the person unfortunately pretended not to hear, thereby making me look like a fool in front of the fat couple who continued to eat their popcorn, the latter of which scenario is not acceptable in any way.

Postcards from the Edge

Gchat conversation, Saturday morning, 9/27, at 10:19 am:

10:19 AM Risa: morning

me: hi

10:20 AM im up for the counting crows presale

Risa: yay

me: well

i bought a 3 day pass

so the bad news

is that i cannot afford to buy

2 3 day passes

it was $487

10:21 AM so i have to find people to buy

singleton tickets

using my presale code

bc im not paying for another 3 day pass

its insanely expensive

Risa: sounds it

10:22 AM me: im presuming you have no interest

in going

Risa: where is it

in the city?

me: montclair nj

10:23 AM during the week

Risa: when

me: thats the kicker

Risa: what night

me: mon weds and thurs

oct 27 29 30

you dont have to make a decision now

Risa: i could go on the 30th
me: theyll be available for at least another week

10:25 AM the only problem i see

with this entire situation

(not just you)

is that obviously i get to these things

waaaaaaaaaaaaay early

in order to be front row

or close to it

and obviously people have jobs

and school

and they cant just like

10:26 AM start standing in line

at like 4pm

and while im happy to do the standing myself

if people show up at like showtime, there is no way whomever was showing up

would be able to push their way to the front

10:27 AM seeing as the theatre holds 2000

and its general admission

so i have to work out that kink in my mind first

as you can see

10:28 AM i have fallen off the counting crows deep end

10:30 AM Risa: yes

Counting Crows Presale Disaster

Adam Duritz & Dave Bryson, Jones Beach, 8/1/08 playing "Anna Begins"
moments before I bash myself in the face with a frying pan

On Wednesday I received an email during the afternoon casually notifying me that the Counting Crows were performing THREE INTIMATE SHOWS IN MONTCLAIR, NJ IN OCTOBER, and that presale tickets would be available to "Legacy" fan club members and to American Express holders beginning this Saturday at 10am. As I have mentioned before, Counting Crows is my favorite band, I have a religious experience every time I see them, I line up starting a minimum of 4 hours before a show in order to be front row, and every single song they have ever made is the greatest music ever produced. As a result when they sent this email, I immediately launched into a 30 alarm panic, because they were supposed to be sending me a secret presale code due to my $45 per year Platinum Captain's Circle Legacy status, but after refreshing my browser about 12093849384 times I still hadn't received the code.

The main problem here is that Counting Crows recently did away with their paying fan club, so now there is no way to log in to the Counting Crows site and see if you're currently a Legacy member. This resulted in basically piles of fans panicking that they would not be receiving the presale code, might not get tickets and would then have to proceed to the nearest cliff and jump off. So I logged into the Counting Crows community chat board under my two different screennames and and started posting frantic messages, such as "Did anybody get the presale code yet?" and "How can I confirm that I'm a legacy member?" and "Is it general standing room or assigned seating at the theatre - their website doesn't say - HELP!!" and when I still hadn't gotten the code by like 8pm, I resorted to calling the merchandise store in the completely reasonable belief that the people who sell scarves that say "Counting Crows" on it could help me resolve this issue.

At this point you may be wondering why I didn't just use my AmEx to get the presale code, and the reason for that is that I don't have one because what's the point of a credit card if you have to pay it off every month. In addition, I am also scared to apply for one for fear I might be rejected, which happened to a good friend of mine when she ONCE applied for a credit increase, got rejected and then became depressed for two days. In any event, after emailing the comment board moderators I did confirm that I was IN FACT an Ambassador Gold Level Legacy member and they emailed me my presale code, which eliminated the heart attack this THIS time around but apparently for all future shows I will have to email them and get the presale codes because god has been trying to destroy me for a while now and has been purposefully blocking key emails from arriving in my account.

Dream Came True, Death Ok Now

Immy is the guy all the way on the right with pompadour

Um, well I just went to the diner on my block for dinner and ran into THE LEAD GUITARIST FROM COUNTING CROWS. Alert alert alert alert alert. Um, can someone take a gun, shoot me in the face twice and then bash a bottle over my head because this is the most AMAZING THING THAT HAS EVER HAPPENED TO ME. While some of you might think of Counting Crows as a cornbag lame band for guys who wear Hootie & the Blowfish 19991 tour shirts with cargo shorts and mandals, you're 100% right, except for the fact that they are the greatest band EVER. This is actually not a joke. Every time I go to their concerts I have a religious experience and I fall more deeply in love with Adam Duritz and I am getting VERY close to being his friend on Facebook.

In any event, en route to dinner I saw the lead guitarist Immy, and casting shame aside, I walked up to him, told him I was a GIANT fan, was going to their concerts today AND Friday at Jones Beach, and he said "Both?" and then I explained that I was a $45 per year Platinum Legacy fan club member and that my life had pretty much meant nothing until I met him and if he could act normal about this it would be greatly appreciated because I was having 30 panic attacks. He then said "thanks, you're going to see some great shows, we're on fire." I then told him that I could now die, and he said "dine?" and I said "die and dine" and he laughed and then I walked away and briefly considered killing myself because no other moment in my life has been greater.