Wednesday, July 16, 2008

Not Acceptable - Mandals

Every summer, nerds across the world break out their hideous man sandals for reasons that I actually can't explain. Unfortunately there are several varieties of mandals, including the above pictured amphibian monstrosities, the Jesus maryjane, and the medieval troubadour/Indian restaurant owner sandal. Let me just clarify that all of the foregoing as well as all men's sandals are absolutely, 100% bona fide not acceptable. The worst part is, is that if you're actually wearing the amphibians or troubadours, chances are you're also wearing a Livestrong bracelet, khaki Old Navy cargo shorts and a tucked-in faded shirt from a 1997 Hootie & the Blowfish or Counting Crows tour and walking around the city like it's perfectly normal. Well I have news for you - women are actually actively repulsed by anyone who puts these things on their pale, gnarly feet and if you wear these shoes under ANY circumstances, you are basically telling the world that you had sex once by accident in college, play science fiction video games after work, watch Anime cartoons and do something with computers or math for a living.

1 comment:

Gabe said...

hey! there's nothing wrong with using computers and math for a living.

however, you should add to the list: "likely have dark hair on the knuckles of your toes"