Thursday, April 16, 2009
High Alert: THE COUGAR
Um, I just watched part of the new show The Cougar, and I literally had to pause my DVR mid show to run over to my computer and tell you how unbelievably amazing it is. I thought it was going to be a usual piece of crap The Bachelor spinoff, but it's so much better than that. Twenty men in their 20s are competing for 40 year old Stacey Anderson, the Cougar. Stacy is your typical cougar - you know, married AT AGE 16 and now has four children, absurdly tan with sun spots and hypnotizing crow's feet and two giant canteloupes tacked on to her aging body.
The whole idea of the show is that they are trying to take all your preconceived notions about how older women shouldn't be dating younger men and throw it the garbage, but unfortunately they keep on undermining the message of empowerment by repeatedly referring to her as a cougar. As in, "Let's meet our cougar" or "I've never dated a cougar before." The show is made even more phenomenal if that is humanly possible because Vivica A. Fox hosts it and when she speaks her chest muscles flex so her ginormous implants move back and forth in an extremely alarming way. Now that I think about it, this may be one of the greatest shows I've ever seen, despite the fact that it's on TVland which is weird and normally off limits. As you may know, I do not take recommendations lightly because people always recommend horrible shit to me and then I get angry, but I URGE YOU to watch this show. It may be the best thing you've ever done.