Thursday, December 4, 2008

Can It With The Insulting Lectures

Living the dream

Every time I apply for a job or complain to someone about not being able to find a job, peoples' responses are always the same: "now is not a good time to be looking." While this is a very wise thing to say indeed, it does ABSOLUTELY NOTHING to change the fact that like it or not that the millions of dollars that I previously had are now nearly gone because I invested heavily in David Copperfield's Fountain of Youth, which unfortunately turned out to be a small regular stream in Bahamas.

People are acting like I quit my job at the firm fully knowing that the economy would collapse in September, and armed with this knowledge what I shrewdly did was take three months' vacation biding my time so that I could begin my job search when America was fully collapsed and people were on the brink of going back to living in caves. Like it was some sort of strategy that when everybody else is getting fired, I would just pounce on all these now-vacant positions and acquire more jobs than the eye can see and become rich as a sultan. Yes, I REALIZE that "now" isn't a "good time" to be "looking" but pulling a Rip van Winkle and going to sleep for 20 years and waking up when the economy is better and there are awesome jobs for me to be great at isn't an option, because I've actually looked into the possibility of hibernation and the science is just not there yet.

1 comment:

subdividedkid said...

Dude. You live in Narnia. Use your Oprah connection and say, "Hey, Oprah. Ummm... so you transformed my apartment which was supposed to help me fix my life... but I still cannot find a job. This is a problem. DO A SHOW ABOUT IT STARRING ME AND OTHER OUT OF WORK, QUALIFIED PEOPLE."

she'll eat it up.

and then someone will probably notice you. Or maybe you could work for Oprah.