Monday, December 22, 2008
Another Genius Idea
On Saturday, I called my friend Josh because I'm incredibly thoughtful, and as he was talking to me he got an email from this guy Kelly. By way of background, during the summer Josh had made a trip to North Carolina on a "cheer up" trip to visit a friend of his - let's call him John - who was going through some really bad stuff . John's brother, Kelly, had arranged a guy's weekend where all of John's friends would come down and they would do guy things like golf, drink, watch sports and talk about chicks. Josh was in a bad mood that weekend and was generally being a party pooper when Kelly called him a "filthy Jew" and wasn't kidding around. Josh was understandably upset about this and booked the next flight out because he didn't want to be around Kelly anymore.
Naturally Kelly never sent an email apologizing, but what he did send on Saturday was an email to Josh asking for $220 that Josh owed for the hotel, and noting that that he hadn't wanted to hassle Josh sooner "because of the economy" which is potentially the most hilarious excuse I've ever heard in my life. There was no mention of, or apology for, the slur and Josh was annoyed that he had to send the money to this jerk. So I suggested that in lieu of sending the money directly to Kelly, Josh should instead plant a tree in Israel in Kelly's honor and then donate the rest of the $220 on behalf of Kelly to the Simon Weisenthal Center which used to hunt down Nazi war criminals but has since switched to "confronting anti-semitism" because all the Nazis are in retirement homes or on polio ventilators and it's enough already. Josh agreed that this was a genius idea and in a hilarious turn of events, he ACTUALLY DONATED THE $220 to the Simon Wiesenthal Center TODAY and Kelly should be receiving a letter in the mail stating the following:
"Kelly - In light of the events that occured in Raleigh, I thought it more appropriate to donate the $220 I owe you to the Simon Weisenthal Center.
P.S. In related news, the Church of Latter-Day Saints generously took the liberty of POSTHUMOUSLY BAPTIZING Simon Wiesenthal to Mormonism so that he could stop rotting in hell, and only took him off when the Wiesenthal Center complained that Simon, who spent his life in support of Judaism and Zionism, er, might not appreciate Mormons coming in and forcibly switching him over to an extremely ridiculous religion.