Daddykins: "Isn't it hurricane season in Aruba?" Me: "Probably." Daddykins: "Good luck with that." Me: "FYI I made a will - it's airtight and I've cut you out."
Daddykins: "You have no money."
For the next few days I'll be on "vacation" in Aruba...Don't worry, I'll be at my computer the ENTIRE time and fun is off the table. While I'll make an effort to post my normal crap, the next week will also feature a photo essay called "Ways in Which You Are Jealous" in which I post pictures of Aruba that will incite extreme envy in you and anger you greatly because while I will be sipping delicious alcohol on the beach and hiding my albino skin under 76 layers of protective covering, you will be sitting at your desk and your jealousy will escalate. Please make every effort to contain your jealousy.
I'm a lawyer living in NYC. I have a dog, a great group of friends, an inferiority/superiority complex (depending on the situation), and dreams of writing a book. I am trying to do more stand-up comedy and I will be very insulted when people don't show up because I'm pretty shamazing.