"A graceful, lithe, well-balanced dog with no sign of coarseness, weakness or shelliness."
- AKC bigoted standard
Apparently Barack Obama's kids have been pestering him for a dog, and whether or not he becomes President he promised to get them one which I fully support due to the fact that dogs rule. The American Kennel Club got wind of this and also the fact that Obama's kids have allergies, so they took the liberty of handselecting a few breeds of hypoallergenic dogs for America to vote on to be Obama's Next Top Dog. The AKC has given America the choice of a poodle, a bichon, a mini schnauzer, a wheaten, and a monstrous chinese crested. Where is the hypoallergenic Bedlington terrier you ask? Um, how about NOWHERE, because the AKC hates Bedlingtons and has been trying to destroy them for some time now as evidenced by this contest and by the fact that they insulted them in 2007 when they published the most popular breeds list based on AKC registrations and ranked Bedlingtons 129 out of 157 which is a damned lie because I personally know at least 4 other people who own them.
In fact, if you click on the link that the AKC provides to other Obama breeds that are hypoallergenic, the Bedlington is the first one in the pack, and is alphabetically before bichon which means that some jerk at the AKC looked over the list, saw the Bedlington, thought for some outrageous and delusional reason that it was not good enough and then selected the bichon because it was obviously superior. Is this a fucking joke? I'll tell you what's a joke - when I registered Perry with the AKC for bragging rights, you get to pick the dog's official name, so I picked Lamb's End's Agnus Dei after the kennel that he came from (Lamb's End) and Agnus Dei meaning "lamb of god." So as I'm telling everyone I know about Perry's jeanius official name that I had thought of myself, I get his registration in the mail and the name on the certificate is Lamb's End's ANGUS Dei, which loosely translates to "steak of god" thereby humiliating both me and Perry to a very high degree, and when I called them up to change the registration they said that would be $45 extra and I told them that while I was VERY rich I wasn't about to pay $45 to CHANGE Perry's registration because of THEIR screw up and they would just have to get comfortable with the fact that they ruined both my life and Perry's life and that Perry would look like a fool when other dogs asked him his name and be the laughing stock of the entire dog run.