Thursday, October 23, 2008

Nice Try - I Know You Got It

Does THIS look familiar? Yeah, I thought so.

One of the amazing things about new technology like cell phones and ecards is that my power to detect when people are lying has increased ten fold. The old "I tried calling you" excuse goes out the window, because if there are no missed calls on my phone, you didn't try calling me and nice try. Even more glorious that the missed call feature is the "received by recipient" feature on ecards, evites and emails. When the person I've sent an ecard to reads the ecard, I get an email saying that it's been picked up, so for every second that goes by that I don't receive an email back, a return ecard, a phone call or some other type of acknowledgment my anger and paranoia increase exponentially to the point where when the person does FINALLY email me back, I already have 20 draft emails ready to go on my computer ranging from "Why are you ignoring me" to "Are you mad at me" to "I'm tired of this ridiculous silent treatment."

I think it's fair to say that the following truths are indisputable: a) people are at their computer ALL DAY LONG doing nothing, b) when people receive email they read it IMMEDIATELY and c) delayed responses to emails are people attempting to act hardcore and play mind games with other people. So hypothetically speaking, if you received an "evite" regarding a "Halloween party" and haven't responded yet, give me a break with the ludicrous "I didn't get the evite" excuses, because the SYSTEM TOLD ME YOU READ IT and systems are never wrong and frankly the only reason not to RSVP at this point is malice.


subdividedkid said...

you are a genius. "I tried calling you" -- what the fuck ever. Cell phones don't lie, people do.

Above14thSt said...

New Yorkers in general are commitmentphobes. Many people open up evites without responding because they are not sure if they will commit so far in adance to go to an event.