Tuesday, October 21, 2008

You've Got Mail

Do not send me this

I just came across the following HEADLINE ON THE FRONT PAGE of CNN.com: "Roses are red/Violets are blue/I have STD/So do you." Besides the completely unacceptable fact that apparently CNN is now delivering the news in limerick form, when you click on the link, it goes to an article about how there is a service where you can anonymously notify people that you might have infected them with diseases such as AIDS, gonorrhea (with the wind) and chlamydia via a thoughtful e-card. Infected people can pick from 6 amazing varieties of cards to send, depending on the tone of the occasion: Send the "I got screwed while screwing, you might have too" card if you don't feel like apologizing and maintain that it's not your fault; send the "You're too hot to be out of the action" if you want to butter them up prior to telling them they have AIDs. And if the disease is terminal or chronic, why not act like they're already dead and send the above gray sympathy ecard?

The article says that there have been "very few" complaints from recipients of the cards, compared to the vast numbers of cards that have been sent. This is because when people receive these cards they immediately drive to the nearest cliff and jump off and thus are not available to report complaints. Let's just say that if I EVER received a "You've got HIV" card from someone, I would very calmly strap dynamite to myself and then blow myself up, but as a safety precaution until such time comes I will now be deleting all ecards and evites prior to reading.

4 comments:

misha bavli said...

You can transmit (and receive) Chlamydia via e-card now? Dios Mio...

Aliza said...

this may be my favorite post.

Jennifer said...

This is disturbing on so many levels.

Gabe said...

To misha: Isn't that better than transmitting and receiving actual chlamydia?