Wednesday, November 19, 2008

Judgment Day

Old nose and pruneified chin culminating in
moderately disastrous high school look

Next week is my ten year high school reunion. As you can imagine, things have not exactly worked out the way I planned them to when I was in high school. Back then, I thought in ten years I would be rolling up to the reunion on a yacht, docking the yacht and driving off it in my Ferrari and then showing up with my fiance/husband sporting a giant canary yellow diamond pear shaped engagement ring that was at least 3 carats (suitors, take note) and be either the wife of some repulsively rich CEO or be a famous writer or comedian or somebody important. I would deign to talk to all the people who were mean to me in high school and allow them to kiss my ring and have an audience with me while they begged me for a position in my court or alms for the poor. Never in my wildest dreams did I think I would show up to my reunion pretty much unemployed, wearing cubic zirconia earrings and have both my yacht and Ferrari in the shop due to bad timing. While my fellow classmates might be "happily married" or "employed" or "very rich" if they show up repulsive and obese that means I win and I am now attending Iron Body: Core twice a week as well as increasing my treadmill speed to 7.2 for 35 minutes in order to ensure this victory.

1 comment:

Gonz'oh said...

That's what I was talking about when I said you should shake what yo mama gave you! But alas, you must now shake what "Dr. Snaxxx" gave you. That's OK, though cause even though I don't live on the cheese toast, If I saw you shaking that, I would be forced to use one of my horribly cheesy yet original pick up lines on you to strike up a conversation with!!!