Monday, November 10, 2008

Polar Bears

Getting one for Hannukah

One of the problems with watching tv is that sometimes commercials come on that make it clear that my entire life up until this point has been a complete joke. So yesterday afternoon as I'm watching MTV's True Life: I'm Deaf, this commercial comes on with Sharon Lawrence who I think appears in Law & Order: Criminal Sex Unit talking about how polar bears are disappearing. The camera cuts to footage of two insanely cute polar bears on a small patch of ice that is adrfit in the water, and Sharon explains how the polar bears' natural habitat is disappearing and how mothers are too weak to feed their children and polar bears are drowning, and unless I give $16 a month, I am personally responsible for murdering the two polar bears in the video and possibly liable for the extinction of all polar bears, both of which assertions I fully agreed with.

Well, at that point I cried hysterically, scribbled down the address of the World Wild Life Federation and made plans to close up shop here, move to the Arctic Circle and spend the remainder of my days blowing cold air onto the ice so that it doesn't melt and the polar bears could continue to roam free. Right before I was about to delete this blog and bring Perry to the pound, somebody texted me to ask me if I could not delete The Pick Up Artist on my DVR from this week because her DVR forgot to record it and I got distracted and forgot about the polar bears situation. This has definitely happened to me before, where I swear I'm going to devote my life to some noble cause because of some moving commercial or an Oprah show about poverty in South Africa, and then The Da Vinci Code comes on TBS and makes me lose my focus.

The only way I can assuage my guilt in these situations is that I firmly believe that it's the thought that counts and the polar bears know that I'm with them in spirit and thinking about them and the fact that I have already cared for a stuffed Gund polar bear named Snuffles for many years. I know the bears would give me $16 a month if they met me and heard about my plight but they might not move to NYC, so I'm going to pay it forward by giving WWF $16 per month but hold off on moving to the Arctic Circle for the time being which I think is a reasonable outcome.

P.S. Here is the WWF page.

1 comment:

Jennifer said...

Mar, I'm with you. My own Snuffles a/k/a Snuffy a/k/a Snuff Snuff is my main man and I would certainly support your efforts to blow on ice for the preservation of his species.