Thursday, November 13, 2008

Ivanka Trump Contining to Ruin My Life

See both of you guys at services, I guess

I meant to post this last week, but apparently Ivanka Trump is converting to Judaism for her fiance Jared Kushner. You may remember that when I was a sophomore in high school, I went on a summer program in Nice, France. The program included a suggested packing list which my mom adhered to RIGIDLY, which resulted in me bringing two pairs of shorts, one longsleeve shirt, one pair of sneakers and five pairs of underwear. My hairdryer didn't work out there, I had clear braces and my nose was original. I was poised to be a giant dork, and this eventuality came to pass when the entire NYC private school system rolled up on the this trip, including Ivanka Trump.

Ivanka had Louis Vuitton luggage, height, nice hair, bags full of money and a modeling contract, but she did have a wide nose, and a weak chin. The only things I had that she didn't were breastaculars, a normal chin and Judaism. Well, turns out the jokes on me because after getting a chin implant and giant breast implants she is now once again trying to one up me by converting to Judaism. Could she try any harder to destroy me? No.


Sun said...

Don't give up, you can beat her. I think you are prettier than her.

Why not try character assassination?

Sun said...

Wait, wait I know: I have seen her on T.V. and she has no comic timing at all and anytime she tries to joke around, it's the most awkward and painful thing I have ever witnessed.

So you are much better at comedy than her because she is absolutely atrocious at it.