The Problem with Brunch

Nevermore

In theory I like the idea of brunch, but in practice, brunch is disgusting and a no-win situation. Take, for instance, today, when my parents came in to NYC for a "birthday brunch" with me and Aliza and I was faced with the age-old brunch menu problem. Basically the options are some sort of eggs - omlettes, scrambled, and other things - or a completely gross but exceedingly delicious stack of pancakes, french toast, waffles etc. While my heart says "pancakes" my brains says "eggs" but the problem is that I have never really gotten back on the egg bandwagon after an unfortunate egg incident in college, whereby I made scrambled eggs for myself every single day for a month and then grossed myself out, resulting in egg overload and an extreme repulsion to both eggs and ketchup for an entire year. So basically that leaves me the pancakes/french toast option, but that's like eating 30 cookies for breakfast, which, while delicious, is a one way ticket to obesity.

So every time I sit down to brunch, I'm forced to choose between eggs that pretty much make me want to throw up, and pancakes where I know I'd feel like a disgusting slob and spend the rest of the day monitoring my face in the mirror for bagel-face syndrome and walking around uncomfortable and angry and about to burst out of my jeans. Ultimately I went with the eggs today because shit has to be looking top notch for the ATL Meet the Editors Happy Hour on Tuesday and if I ate the buttermilk pancakes I wouldn't have enough time to undo the damage, but someone needs to look into this brunch problem very soon because it's getting out of hand and someone needs to invent another option, and don't say granola or a salad because nobody wants that shit for brunch.