Monday, November 17, 2008
Second Life More Ridiculous Than Previously Suspected
Because there is no news left to report in the world, CNN posted this article about potentially the most ludicrous thing I have ever read. Apparently a woman who met her husband IN A CHATROOM, married in real life and then proceeded to have a wedding ceremony in SECOND LIFE, caught her husband's avatar having VIRTUAL SEX in Second Life with a Second Life prostitute and is now divorcing him in real life. I'm not going to sit here and pretend to understand what the hell Second Life is because when people have tried to explain it to me in the past it seems like it is basically a video game in which extreme nerds across the world convene and attempt to assume non-nerd identities in another dimension by ironically creating "avatars" and doing things on a screen instead of working on getting a life in First Life, i.e., reality. I can assure you that the game makes 0% sense, but the gist of the CNN story is this husband did not cheat in real life, his avatar just had sex with another avatar. In a video game.
Putting aside for a minute the fact that I will be shortly conducting a comprehensive investigation into how exactly video game characters have sex, the most genius part of this story is the deadpan last line in the article: "Taylor is now in a new relationship with a man she met in the online roleplaying game World of Warcraft." HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH. But seriously, I feel like this video game garbage has gotten out of control and I am very hopeful that Obama will issue an edict jailing all nerds and eliminating science fiction so that people can start respecting the U.S. again.