Wednesday, November 5, 2008

MSNBC Now the Tim Russert Memorial Network

Leave him alone and calm down

So I accidentally watched the elections last night starting from 6 pm on. The highest members of my cabinet told me to watch MSNBC because it comes in high def and is supposedly less corny than ABC and CBS and less completely delusional and menacing than Fox. In any event, at one point Brian Williams was talking about how McCain needed to win some states in order to do something and then he says the camera, "This night wouldn't be complete without mentioning Tim Russert" and then proceeds to run a 5 minute MONTAGE of pictures of Tim Russert and describes how much the American people miss him, how he's watching over us this election, how news is not the same without him and then mentions that "hilarious" and "memorable" incident during the last election when Tim scribbled on a whiteboard "Florida, Florida Florida."

At another point in the evening, the camera went to Tim's son Luke Russert who was reporting on the youth vote because both as the son of Tim Russert and as a youth, Luke is eminently qualified to report on MSNBC on what's going on in America and in no way was Luke's appearance on the show due in any way to the fact that his father was once a reporter on there. As the night wore on, Brian Williams AGAIN mentioned how Tim Russert was with us in spirit and again referenced that hilarious whiteboard incident and then AGAIN MSBNC went into ANOTHER montage of pictures of Tim Russert sitting down, Tim Russert joking back stage with other anchors and Tim Russert pointing his pen at someone at looking angry.

That's right, MSNBC's top news story last night was the death of Tim Russert, which confirms my suspicions that MSNBC is now officially the Tim Russert Memorial Network where you can get up to the minute coverage of things like the upkeep of Tim's grave, things Tim would have thought and pictures of Tim from happier times such as when he was alive. I will now be watching VH1, MTV and Bravo exclusively because there's apparently no networks that will broadcast news anymore, and don't say CNN because they were so busy bragging about how it was "the place to be on election night" and how they had the "best team in the business" that they actually forgot to report on the election.

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