Tuesday, February 10, 2009

Emergency Update: Bachelor Ending May Be Revealed Through Presence of Unacceptable Pinky Ring

The horrifying footage

You may recall that based on the montage footage of the upcoming proposal on the Bachelor, I guessed that due to the fat arm and hair color, that it was the cursed DeAnna getting proposed to and once again rearing her ugly head, stealing everyone and ruining my life. However, in the above video, some GENIUS slowed down the proposal footage and concluded that whomever Jason was proposing to was wearing a pinky ring (the absolute unacceptability of this fact being manifest), and then he scrolled through other footage and found that Melissa was also wearing a pinky ring.

I will ADMIT that the woman in the proposal's arm looks like Melissa's arm did when she was wearing some strapless dress a few episodes back, but at this point in time I am not willing to concede that the bizarro fuzzy thing we see in the slowed-down footage is in fact a pinky ring. This YouTube video also did not show that the hair color of the winner was a lighter shade of brown - more like DeAnna's or Jillian's, and it was also not confirmed that Melissa has a cheesy french manicure as the proposal footage also shows, although this evening I will retire to the batcave and review past episodes extensively for this evidence.


Donald Mengee said...

No way! I guarantee they made him shoot a "getting down on one knee" scene with each of the final three just throw us off and then they strategically place the bogus footage throughout the previews so that no one knows what's going on.

subdividedkid said...

While "Donald Mengee" might have a point, I still don't think the producers of The Bachelor REALLY envisioned people being so desperate and obsessed about the finale that they would be so careful. This mistake seems way too careless to be purposeful.

I also don't think the producers are very young, hip, and up with the times-- Hello, look at the old-fashioned dates, the courtship, the no sex rule, ugly wardrobes, etc. so they definitely don't know about the invention TiVo/DVR--- and if they do, they think it's a type of car or rap music or something.

But the skeptic in me wants to believe that a bland, boring mess of a girl like Melissa would win such stardom and a mediocre husband with a poorly behaved, spoiled, neglected son. It's GOTTA be the Canadian! It's GOTTA be.

(Oh, and don't you worry Robespierre, that see you next tuesday DeAnna won't be having her cake and eating it, too...)

Robespierre said...

Subdivided Kid - please explain what you mean by the "No Sex" rule IMMEDIATELY if not sooner

subdividedkid said...

No sex rule: people on ABC's The Bachelor are not allowed to have sex with other contestants or The Bachelor. Not sure if that rule lifts itself after a certain time, Im pretty sure it does by the finale, but i think it's still at the contestant's own risk.

i know this because my friend auditioned for The Bachelor and found out that because they don't give STD or HIV screenings, and there is no guarantee for condoms on the set, sex isn't allowed.

And seriously, ABC audiences are drastically different than VH1 audiences. Could u imagine middle aged white women being okay and secure with a man having sex with 10 different women at separate times?

It ain't Christian.

Robespierre said...

Um, Subdivided Kid, perhaps you are forgetting the FANTASY SUITE episode in which the bachelor has sex with THREE of the remaining girls?