Friday, February 6, 2009

Jinx of the Suit Shirt

Out to destroy me

In my experience, EVERY SINGLE TIME I am dating someone new and then fork over $54 to a spa to have all my crotch hair ripped out in anticipation of like a 6th date or something or for once in my life purchase and wear a matching bra/underwear set, something happens whereby it all goes to waste. Like I either get dumped or the date gets canceled and the hair regrows, etc and that's $60 out the window. This has happened to me so many times, historically speaking, that I concluded that getting waxed or purchasing new lingerie is actually a jinx and encourages others to cancel on or dump me, so I no longer do anything special at any time ever so as not to be disappointed or feel robbed. The jinx has also applied to suits and shirts - whereby I will buy a suit or a new button down shirt in anticipation of an interview - and then the interview inevitably gets canceled or I don't get the job, etc.

In a shrewd attempt to counteract this jinx, I have refrained from buying any new shirts or suits, despite the fact that I only have one non-pit-stained button down left which I have been wearing to all my interviews. When I told Megan I was nervous that I was going to be called back for a second round interview at a certain place, she told me to buy some new shirts, but I explained to her a) that JCrew was currently the only place that sold normal petite-sized shirts but she might recall that I refused to buy JCrew shirts because they were holding 1/4 of the sleeve for ransom and b) the second I actually bought new shirts I would sabotage myself and not get a second round interview and probably not have any new interviews for at least a month due to the jinx. Megan informed me that I needed to "get over" myself and stop being ridiculous and just buy the goddamn shirts, which I did because sometimes Megan is frightening, and naturally as a direct result of this I did not secure a second round interview and haven't had a interview in over a month.


Maria said...

Have you considered not wearing button-down shirts and instead wearing normal shell-type things or even a regular scoop or v-neck type shirt?

Emily Derksen said...

Maria, don't be ridiculous

The only frog with his own blog said...

Was this an interview for the entourage looking for members with dance skills a plus?

rachsky said...

I think this is how the universe works. Whenever i shave the same shit happens to me, but the rare occasion that i go out in not prime condition, is when the love of my life asks to take me home. As far as the shirts are concerned, I'm pretty much a believer in superstition, and I 100% agree to not buy a new shirt until you get the second interview. Never count your chickens before they hatch.