Jinx of the Suit Shirt

Out to destroy me

In my experience, EVERY SINGLE TIME I am dating someone new and then fork over $54 to a spa to have all my crotch hair ripped out in anticipation of like a 6th date or something or for once in my life purchase and wear a matching bra/underwear set, something happens whereby it all goes to waste. Like I either get dumped or the date gets canceled and the hair regrows, etc and that's $60 out the window. This has happened to me so many times, historically speaking, that I concluded that getting waxed or purchasing new lingerie is actually a jinx and encourages others to cancel on or dump me, so I no longer do anything special at any time ever so as not to be disappointed or feel robbed. The jinx has also applied to suits and shirts - whereby I will buy a suit or a new button down shirt in anticipation of an interview - and then the interview inevitably gets canceled or I don't get the job, etc.

In a shrewd attempt to counteract this jinx, I have refrained from buying any new shirts or suits, despite the fact that I only have one non-pit-stained button down left which I have been wearing to all my interviews. When I told Megan I was nervous that I was going to be called back for a second round interview at a certain place, she told me to buy some new shirts, but I explained to her a) that JCrew was currently the only place that sold normal petite-sized shirts but she might recall that I refused to buy JCrew shirts because they were holding 1/4 of the sleeve for ransom and b) the second I actually bought new shirts I would sabotage myself and not get a second round interview and probably not have any new interviews for at least a month due to the jinx. Megan informed me that I needed to "get over" myself and stop being ridiculous and just buy the goddamn shirts, which I did because sometimes Megan is frightening, and naturally as a direct result of this I did not secure a second round interview and haven't had a interview in over a month.