Friday, September 5, 2008
The Curious Incident of the Lactaid in the Night-time
As I mentioned in my previous post, gelato is a nationwide epidemic in Croatia. People are literally eating it for breakfast, lunch and dinner and each one of the 32 gelato places were packed all day long. The main reason for this appears to be because Croatia has only two kinds of desserts, crepes and gelato, and after a while crepes are repulsive so gelato wins out. After I had unpacked my bag at Milan's house, I was congratulating myself on not forgetting my tweezer or fish oil pills but after walking around a bit and people mocking me with ice cream cones and eating these insane gelato concoctions (picture above) I realized that I had forgotten my Lactaid. Let's just say that gelato would be OUT OF THE QUESTION without Lactaid unless I wanted to spend my vacation writhing in pain on a toilet singing "Who Will Buy?" from Oliver! Several attempts were made to go to the one pharmacy in town but were foiled due to their ridiculous hours, such as 10-10:15am on Sunday, 5:30-6:00pm on Saturday.
Finally after harassing Milan for four days for my Lactaid, we made it to the pharmacy during the two minutes they were open. Frankly I should have probably known to abandon ship on this Lactaid acquisition idea from day one because the latest advances in Croatian medicine involve leeches and exorcisms. Obviously the pharmacy was one of these ridiculous European pharmacies with two dusty products on the shelves, one of which helped regulate the sanguine humor and the other one of which was an elixir for carbuncles. Milan explained my problem to the pharmacist in Croatian, as being "illness when she drinks milk." The knowledgeable pharmacist said that she had never heard of such a problem and scoffed at the idea that there would be a magical pill that exists to help with milk and when Milan insisted that there was in fact a pill called Lactaid, she became outraged and said repeated that no such pill existed and that if I had a problem I should just drink soy milk.