Monday, September 8, 2008

Dear Robespierre

Dear Robespierre,

Per your
earlier advice on letting guys pay for everything, I actually was just asked out by this guy who worked for Bear Strens, and was laid off... I feel bad letting him pay now that he is unemployed. Am I still supposed to let him pay?


Dear Rachsky,

This is not surprisingly an excellent question. In happier times, people who worked at Bear Stearns generally made three giant bags of money a year. However, because Bear Stearns is inferior to Commerce bank due to the fact that it has not been number one in customer service THREE YEARS IN A ROW, it was obviously going to go bankrupt because customer service is key if you want me to keep on being your client. In any event, when Bear Stearns laid off people such as your date, they gave them severance packages of 10,000 gold doubloons. So unless your date squandered his savings and severance on ebay, Louboutins, dresses for a life he doesn't lead and last minute vacations to war torn countries in Eastern Europe, he can still spend 1 measly gold doubloon on your drinks, and if he can't, he shouldn't have been asking you out in the first place and at that point I would kindly request that you email me his name so that I can pass it along to my girlfriends so that all of us can be sure to not go on dates with him. I hope this answers your question.


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