Thursday, September 18, 2008

Emergency Update Regarding Potential Nosejob of Meghan McCain

Victoria just contacted me regarding whether Meghan McCain has had a nose job. Naturally I had absolutely no idea who Meghan McCain was, but the internet revealed that she's John McCain's kid with his Stepford Wife Wife, Cindy McCain. The youngest picture I could find was a Columbia University nepotism graduation picture of Meghan, which is, like the picture of Kim Kardashian pre-nosejob, breast implants, cheek implants, chin implant and hair extensions, pixelated and blurry. Nevertheless, I have applied my expert powers of plastic surgery analysis to this dire situation and my professional opinion is as follows:

The graduation picture of Meghan shows a slightly wide, and likely bumpy nose. It's not a disaster nose like John McCain's amorphous blob, but it's not the ideal nose for maximization of beautification. Fast forward to more recently, and here is a profile shot - disregard the hooker makeup. Her nose is kind of scooped out, the bump is gone and her nostrils are elongated and resemble those of Lindsay Lohan and Nicole Richie's second and final nose, both of whom were done by the same surgeon (not Raj Kanodia, and believe me I am hot on the trail of discovering this identity of this plastic surgeon).

The real damning evidence is this picture, where the tip of Meghan's nose is PERFECT, the nostrils are carved out looking, and frankly you're living in Narnia if you think these sort of noses occur in nature. Believe me, my nose closely resembles an elf's shoe and you bet your bippy I paid $8,000 for that. In conclusion, I can state without hesitation that Meghan McCain did IN FACT have a nose job, that said nose job was likely acquired immediately following college graduation and was likely obtained as a graduation present, and finally that if she thinks she's fooling people into thinking it's real she is only making a mockery of herself because I'm onto it and nice try but gotcha.

P.S. Dr. Kanodia charges $20,000 per nose job and claims to not do secondary rhinoplasties, which is complete bullshit, since he did Jennifer Aniston's second nosejob. I know this because a friend of mine called and was just wondering what the prices were.

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