Tuesday, September 9, 2008

Greetings from a CLE

I am currently at one of these ridiculous CLEs where I just sit at a Westlaw-sponsored computer, pretend to listen to some woman telling me how to do a Westlaw search more effectively if I cared(which I do IN NARNIA), check my email, wait an hour, and am magically granted one skills CLE credit which allows me to keep my law license so that I can charge people for things in the future.

In any event, at these CLEs you have to "sign in" and list your first and last name, your "title" and your firm affiliatiation. So I sign in with my first and last name, list my title (Attorney/Taurus) and then write "N/a" under firm affiliation due to my zesty unemployment. So at the end of the first grueling hour of Westlaw garbage as I'm standing behind lawyers with jobs holding my Century 21 bag filled with two pairs of digustingly beautiful shoes that I have just purchased, waiting to get my gold-sealed certificate of attendence and authenticity, I roll up to the table and the lady looks at the sign in sheet and says "Marvin?" and I say "Marin" and then she nods and continues filling it out and then gets to firm affiliation and says "Na?" and I say "Um, not applicable." In the distance, my mother weeps softly. End scene.

1 comment:

Not Jackson said...

Did they give you cookies and some Westlaw swag while you were there? Westlaw used to give good swag. Back in the day, I had pens and highlighters in All The Colors Of The Rainbow with the West Group logo.

Plus, I, uh, maybe had a *leetle* bit of a crush on our Westlaw representative. Oh, sweet sweet Melinda! I think that I ordered 10 treatises from her that glorious year.