Monday, September 29, 2008

List of Candy Bars Ranked According to Deliciousness

Come to me

I was drunk as a skunk in a deli the other day and people were waiting behind me in line so I needed to make a split second decision as to which candy bar I was going to purchase and then cram in my mouth. Because my decision making power was impaired, I chose a Dove milk chocolate bar for no good reason and then next morning I woke up feeling guilty and angry that I had picked such a mediocre chocolate bar when I could have eaten some thing 30 times more delicious. So that this never happens to me or any of you again, I have compiled a list of candy bars, ranked according to deliciousness, 1 being so outrageously delicious I want to drive to the factory and open fire and 10 being very delicious.

1. Heath Bar
2. Skor Bar
3. Reese's Peanut Butter Cups - technically a cup and not a bar, but so delicious I would wear them as eye patches
4. Lindt milk chocolate truffles in red package
5. Alpine Milk Ritter Sport
6. Kit Kat
8. Snickers
9. Twix
10. Krackel (tie)
11. Butterfinger (tie)


Jengwei said...

Um, Skor is completely and wholeheartedly unacceptable. My mom used to be obsessed with Skor and bought like 100 bars a week. The layer of chocolate is .2 millimeters thick, and the caramel-whatever thing in the middle sticks to your teeth. And Heath bars are only to be used as topping for ice cream. Please revise your list accordingly.

Jennifer said...

This list is woefully inadequate. Where are the Ferrero Rocher? The Perugina Baci? The world famous, exquisite Guylian Belgian Chocolate Sea Shells, each filled with delicious roasted hazelnut praline? Well?

Blogonaut said...

Respectfully, you omitted the BEST

Toblerone Swiss Milk Chocolate with Honey and Almond Nougat.

We got rid of our Euros in Heathrow with a duty free case of them, but sadly none of the bars survived the long flight back to SF.

PS to jennifer: We are talking candy BARS here, and not regifted Christmas candy. Please try to stay on topic.

Gabe said...

I have to agree with the rest of the comments. This list is at best a paltry, hastily-cobbled-together farce; or at worst a chilling insight into the mind of a raving sociopath.

To wit: Three Musketeers, Milky Way, Mounds, Almond Joy, Nestle Crunch.

All of these are worthy of inclusion.

At the very least, your loyal readers deserve a cogent explanation (minimum 50 words each) of why you omitted them, including dates/times/locations of who bribed/threatened you into omitting them, what the police said in response, and what further actions are being taken to apprehend these culinary fiends.