I'm BaaAAAAAAAACCKK Vol. II

I am pleased to report that Croatians have been
reading this blog and naming restaurants in my honor

I have just returned from the war torn land of "Croatia" after calling Greg my dogwalker from the plane and confirming Perry would be IMMEDIATELY available upon my arrival in NYC. But first, a brief description of Croatia.

I was surprised to see that these "Croatians" were a peaceful people, and although I know a bitter war may is still going on in Bosnia which sounds like it might be near Croatia, you would not guess it from the docile natives. The coastline is beautiful and the beaches are nice and rocky. The only food available to eat there is pizza, pasta and vaguely stale pastries with a 73:1 phylo dough to nutella/apple filler/cherry filler ratio and there are no gymnasios on the island. Eating gelato is rampant, and the 32 gelato places on the island were filled regardless of the hour and despite the fact that eating gelato every day is absolutely disgusting and also despite the fact that ice cream is the EXACT SAME THING as gelato and people who deny that are legitimately living in Narnia. The currency there is something called a "kuna" which I have renamed the "krooner" because krooners are hilarious. I was the shortest and palest person on the island by a landslide until we saw a woman with some sort of genetic disorder who was smaller. I also met a friendly giant.