Monday, June 23, 2008

New Weekly Column - Not Acceptable

My friend Lawrence had the jeanious idea that I start a weekly column on the blog entitled Not Acceptable, wherein every week I discuss something that is highly illegitimate and in no way acceptable. Since practically everything is not acceptable, I could actually post this column every day but since I googled "how to get more readers blog" and they said one way was to "build anticipation" I will only be posting Not Acceptable once a week in order to keep my 10 readers salivating. In exchange for Lawrence's shamazing idea, I have promised him that I will send him a Christmas bonus of $5 and have assured him that I will remember him when I am repulsively rich and powerful.

In any event, this week's Not Acceptable installment is splitting the bill on dates 1-5. I'm not sure what else to say on that tip other than it's actually outrageous. I once went on a date to Starbucks, and when I ordered a tea, the cashier said "$1.73" and I did the classic fake reach/bag rummage which turned into a REAL reach because the guy did not offer to pay. After the date, he sent me an email saying he wanted to see me again and I replied that unfortunately I saw his failure to pay $1.73 as a harbinger of macaroni necklaces on my birthday and sand art on our anniversaries and this was in no way legitimate.


Jenna said...

Not Acceptable:

Lack of Jenna's birthday shoutout.

Jennifer said...

You obviously know how my latest and greatest date went ... here is a wonderful excerpt from his sober - next morning apology:

"I had too much wine (on very little food) and became too sensitive/aggressive on the flirtation front...honestly, I can't even remember what it was that may have offended me. You should know I always pay for my dates so my apologies on that too, no idea why I agreed to split the check...that was wrong of me and I apologize."

This guy thought he could still get a second date. HA!

Liza said...

I stopped doing "the reach".

Sometimes it's fun pretending to do "the reach" and just come out with a lip gloss.

Above14thSt said...

As a guy, I always hated the reach. Because when a girl is serious (or semi-serious) about paying, you get nervous if the girl likes you, or does she feel guilty that you are going to spend 100 dollars on a few martinis. Question for Narnia is when a girl should pay for something (cab, dinner, etc.) What's the rule?