Monday, June 23, 2008
New Weekly Column - Not Acceptable
My friend Lawrence had the jeanious idea that I start a weekly column on the blog entitled Not Acceptable, wherein every week I discuss something that is highly illegitimate and in no way acceptable. Since practically everything is not acceptable, I could actually post this column every day but since I googled "how to get more readers blog" and they said one way was to "build anticipation" I will only be posting Not Acceptable once a week in order to keep my 10 readers salivating. In exchange for Lawrence's shamazing idea, I have promised him that I will send him a Christmas bonus of $5 and have assured him that I will remember him when I am repulsively rich and powerful.
In any event, this week's Not Acceptable installment is splitting the bill on dates 1-5. I'm not sure what else to say on that tip other than it's actually outrageous. I once went on a date to Starbucks, and when I ordered a tea, the cashier said "$1.73" and I did the classic fake reach/bag rummage which turned into a REAL reach because the guy did not offer to pay. After the date, he sent me an email saying he wanted to see me again and I replied that unfortunately I saw his failure to pay $1.73 as a harbinger of macaroni necklaces on my birthday and sand art on our anniversaries and this was in no way legitimate.