Monday, June 16, 2008
Cab Driver Insight into World Religions
So yesterday I ordered a car from Dial 7 (212-777-77777777-777-7777-77777) to take me, Aliza and Perry home to New Jersey for Father's Day. On the phone, I told them that we have a medium sized but VERY goodlooking dog, so they didn't need to charge us extra for it if they were thinking about it. Fifteen minutes later, a sedan rolls up, the driver takes one look at Perry, rolls down his window and wags his finger at us and says "I no take dogs, no no" and drives away, so I call up Dial 7 tell them that the driver that they sent has apparently refused to drive us. The dispatcher explains that some of their drivers are religious and won't take dogs, so I explain to her that we weren't taking a dog to New Jersey in order to sacrifice him, but rather we were taking a treasured family pet home to visit family. She then said that while she personally understood that we weren't going to sacrifice him, some of their drivers just refused to take dogs for religious reasons. I then asked her if she was actually expecting me to believe that there was a scripture somewhere that said "If thou ist a limousine drive, thou shall not drivest dogests" and she said she didn't know but could put her manager on the phone.
In any event, she sent another car with a Hindu driver and so I asked him what religion were these people who were refusing to take dogs and he said they were Muslim, because all Muslims thinks dogs are dirty even though, according to the driver, Muslims married their sisters and first cousins and "pissed in their panties and wore them." Since the driver seemed to be very knowledgeable about world religions, I asked him what the deal was with Sikhs and he told me that they were ok but very foolish. I then told him that I was Jewish and wanted his thoughts on that and he then turned around this sign that said "Dial 7" on it to reveal that Dial 7 was also known as Tel Aviv car service, and said that his boss was a Jew and that his boss and other Jews wear little round hats on their heads in order to prevent others from knowing what they are thinking and discovering their business secrets. I told him that Jews typically wear yarmulkes to separate themselves from god and not to harbor secret business plans, but he told me that I had my ideas and he had his, and that we were both entitled to our opinions.