Monday, June 16, 2008

Cab Driver Insight into World Religions


So yesterday I ordered a car from Dial 7 (212-777-77777777-777-7777-77777) to take me, Aliza and Perry home to New Jersey for Father's Day. On the phone, I told them that we have a medium sized but VERY goodlooking dog, so they didn't need to charge us extra for it if they were thinking about it. Fifteen minutes later, a sedan rolls up, the driver takes one look at Perry, rolls down his window and wags his finger at us and says "I no take dogs, no no" and drives away, so I call up Dial 7 tell them that the driver that they sent has apparently refused to drive us. The dispatcher explains that some of their drivers are religious and won't take dogs, so I explain to her that we weren't taking a dog to New Jersey in order to sacrifice him, but rather we were taking a treasured family pet home to visit family. She then said that while she personally understood that we weren't going to sacrifice him, some of their drivers just refused to take dogs for religious reasons. I then asked her if she was actually expecting me to believe that there was a scripture somewhere that said "If thou ist a limousine drive, thou shall not drivest dogests" and she said she didn't know but could put her manager on the phone.

In any event, she sent another car with a Hindu driver and so I asked him what religion were these people who were refusing to take dogs and he said they were Muslim, because all Muslims thinks dogs are dirty even though, according to the driver, Muslims married their sisters and first cousins and "pissed in their panties and wore them." Since the driver seemed to be very knowledgeable about world religions, I asked him what the deal was with Sikhs and he told me that they were ok but very foolish. I then told him that I was Jewish and wanted his thoughts on that and he then turned around this sign that said "Dial 7" on it to reveal that Dial 7 was also known as Tel Aviv car service, and said that his boss was a Jew and that his boss and other Jews wear little round hats on their heads in order to prevent others from knowing what they are thinking and discovering their business secrets. I told him that Jews typically wear yarmulkes to separate themselves from god and not to harbor secret business plans, but he told me that I had my ideas and he had his, and that we were both entitled to our opinions.

3 comments:

Hummer212121 said...

Your driver rules.

Also, I believe there is a Muslim parable about a prostitute who fed a dying dog and got into heaven, and a righteous woman who ignored a starving dog and went to hell. (I'm actually serious, we were told that story in my intro to Islam class.)

Hummer212121 said...

Ok, found this on a random website, I knew I wasn't kidding:

In teaching kindness, the Prophet once mentioned a story about a prostitute. Driven by thirst, she came to a well to drink water. There she saw a dog by the well that was dying of thirst. Since there was no bucket to pull water with, she climbed down into the well and satisfied her thirst. Then, remember the dog, she soaked her socks with water, climbed back up and squeezed the water into the mouth of the dog. The Prophet (p) said that for this small act of kindness to an animal, God forgave her sins and granted her paradise.

To the contrary, the Prophet (p) said another story about a woman who was cruel (or perhaps neglectful) to her cat. She tied it up for some reason and neither fed it nor allowed it to go and feed itself. The cat eventually died. The Prophet (p) said that for this merciless act to an animal, she was put into the Hellfire.

Unknown said...

I didn't realize that ancient prostitutes wore socks. Very interesting.