Wednesday, June 25, 2008

Victoria's Secret Bra Sale

Yesterday Aliza gchatted me that Victoria's Secret is having its semi-annual bra sale. Well, the secret is out - their bras suck. I might have been interested in this information approximately 5 years ago when VS made decent low-rise lace boy short contraptions that were really cute and of decent quality, but over the last 4 years VS has gone from acceptable last minute place to buy underwear and/or sexytime explosion apparel to skankville lingere U.S.A., where everything comes in colors such as teal, purple and magenta and the underwear is bedazzled with crystals and says ridiculous shit on it like "devilish" and "sexy," the idea being that you would not ordinarily be able to tell that the underwear is devilish or sexy, so it just spells it out to remove all doubt.

The new VS also sells the same three bras over and over again, and just switches the bra name according to the latest marketing campaign. I have tried on bras from the Ipex collection, the Body by Victoria scam, the (not) Very Sexy line, the Pink collection featuring polka dots and cartoon dogs, and the BioFit (aka Barely Fit) line, and I can assure you that all of these bras fit equally crappy and not once did I put on any of that shit and look remotely like Heidi Klum. Another thing about the bras is that they come with either 2 pounds, 5 pounds or 60 pounds of padding, which means that these bras can only be worn during the day because it someone feels 10 elbowpads on your boobs, embarrassment is maximized and the jig is up.

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