Tuesday, July 1, 2008
A friend and I got into a debate the other day about checking accounts. I was complaining to him about paying the $3 Chase ATM fee because I will leave Commerce Bank over my dead body, and he suggested I open up a second checking account at Chase because it's "convenient" and I could "stop paying the ATM fees." Great idea - that would just mean that I would have to find my passport, withdraw ten stacks of money from Commerce, carry it over to Chase, wait 20 days to get access to it, switch all my Ebay and online shopping accounts, have two debit cards, overdraw each one every day and generally not know where any of my money is at any time.
After I made all these arguments, my friend said that people open multiple checking accounts "all the time" because of the FDIC insurance limit. For those of you who don't know what FDIC insurance is, it means that the government will insure your money up to $150,000, but if you have $151,000.00, you will need to transfer $1,000 to the other bank to make sure you get those monies back. I asked my friend whether, if Andrew Jackson returned to office and we had a Savings 'n Loan crisis and all the banks shut down, he really believed that the first order of business of the U.S. government would be cutting him a check for his measly $150,000, and he said yes. Well, unfortunately he and everybody else who believes in this FDIC insurance lunacy is living in Narnia because if a meteor hits the earth and all the banks shut down, my last name could be FDIC and I STILL wouldn't get my money back because I'm guessing all the money in the banks will go towards removing the meteor and the U.S. government won't care that I need it for ebay. Listen, if you're going to waste time splitting money up into different banks to get FDIC protection, why not cover all your bases and purchase pieces of the True Cross and some saints medallions for additional protection, or better yet, why not invest the money in cloning technology and time travel.
P.S. Could Capital One Bank calm down and stop opening a new branch in NYC every two seconds.