Monday, March 30, 2009

Explaining My Situation

My office

I am called on to explain "what I do" probably more often than most people, because I seemingly do nothing all day, and people like to try to embarrass me by calling me out on it, which is always ineffective because they are unaware of the contents of my ING Savings account which is very large indeed. When people have a vague sense of "what I do" - they know that I "write" for a "living" - they then try to insert some kind of condescension into their line of questioning. This usually take the form of people saying, "How are your blogs doing?" or "How's the blogging coming?" which is meant to insult me, because seriously how am I supposed to respond to that shit? "My blogs are doing great! One went to the park the other day and the other one is tending to an ear infection." "Blogging is amazing...I love sitting at my desk every day and sending insane ramblings into outerspace for no money - you should try it!!!"

As you can see, there is no good way to respond to this where it looks like I am doing anything other than being a complete vagrant and am about to be homeless with a teabag hanging from my teeth. I actually ran into somebody I used to work with at my firm the other day. He was standing outside a bar smoking and LUCKILY I was coming back from a VERY IMPORTANT business meeting and had some makeup on and had been hitting the gymnasio extra hard that week and so when he asked me what I was doing now, at least I didn't look as if I had fall into physical disrepair as well as the mental disrepair that I clearly exhibited as I went rambling on excitedly about "freelancing" and "blogs" while he probably snickered internally.

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