told the story of how I ordered a car to take me to NJ and the cab driver informed me that Jews wear little hats on their head so that no one can see what they're thinking and steal their business plans. This weekend, I was fortunate enough to learn the true story of Passover from a cab driver on Saturday night. We were coming from Milan's birthday party, so I was talking about Serbians, when the cab driver, Mohammed Sallem, looks in the rearview mirror, tells me he is Egyptian and asks me to tell him my opinion on Egyptians.
So I tell them that Egyptians are very interesting because they walk around doing the Walk Like An Egyptian dance, they live in pyramids which were built by the enslaved Jews and are ruled by a Pharoah named Ramses. Mohammed then told me that the pyramids are tombs, which I pointed out as false because they are houses, and that nobody does the Walk Like An Egyptian dance - people walk normally. I asked him to prove it and he said he couldn't because he was driving and then told him nice try and declared victory. Mohammed then asked me if I wanted to know the truth, and I said of course, and he said in that actuality the Jews were never slaves in Egypt, they were in fact the trusted advisors of the Pharoahs and the Egyptians, which is why the Jews were able to borrow all the gold from the Egyptians before fleeing the country which they then made into a golden calf. I told Mohammed that his version of events was a blatant lie, and that no self-respecting Jew would steal gold and then waste it on making an ugly gold statue, and that the more likely scenario was that they took the gold and started jewelry businesses in midtown Manhattan and the cab driver agreed that this is probably what happened.