Tuesday, March 17, 2009
Natasha Richardson Injured, Possibly Dead
Last night it was reported that Natasha Richardson, who I think has been in some movies but is mostly Liam Neeson's wife, suffered a serious brain injury after falling on a beginner's slope while skiing in Canada. Perez Hilton is actually reporting that she died, but I haven't seen that elsewhere. While her injury and (possible) death are tragic, you would think that by now celebrities are aware that they should never a) ski or b) get on a small plane unless they're prepared to die. The normal ski death rate is pretty high which is why my mom never allowed us to go skiing, which was annoying in middle school because all the cool kids went skiing and also took cruises and got their hair braided with beads for the purposes of coming back to school and bragging, but it seems like sound judgment now. However, celebrities face near certain death when they go skiing, because it is one of only two adequately glamourous ways to die, because who has the money and the time to go skiing and die while doing it except famous people. Apparently Sonny Bono and RFK's son, Michael, did.
The other acceptable mode of death for celebrities is to die by private planes. You would think that by now if you were a celebrity and someone asked you to fly in a non-commercial flight, you'd be like, um, nice try, didn't you see what happened to Aaliyah, Buddy Holly, that Lynrd Skynrd guy, JFK Jr., Carolyn Kennedy, and that bizarro baseball player who drove a helicopter into a building in NYC a few years ago? The best case scenario a celebrity can hope for is to survive with burns over 70% of their body like DJ AM and Travis Barker and then have to cover it up with tattoos. Anyway, if any celebrities are reading this, I urge you to just calm down and knock it off with the ski trips and private jets because while these two things are status symbols, there are perfectly good other ways to brag that don't involve dying.