Monday, March 30, 2009

Movie Review: Milk Does a Body Terrible


This weekend I had the misfortune of watching Milk on demand, because I had already watched The Duchess and if you think I'm going to waste my time watching Vicky Cristina Barcelona or Rachel Getting Married, you're living in Narnia. In retrospect I should have just watched Trading Place for the 578th time on Bravo because Milk was a piece of shit. It was boring, long, shot terribly and spliced with 70s footage, the dialogue was cringe-worthy, the opera symbolism was ridiculous and stolen directly from Amadeus and there was no point of that guy from Minnesota in a wheelchair who kept on calling and annoying Milk when he was in the middle of doing something important. I asked out loud at least 4 times if this movie was a joke and that is never a good sign. Below is a list of the characters in the movie that could have been cut out and the movie would have been better:

1. Kid in the wheelchair from Minnesota - served no purpose other than corniness
2. Josh Brolin
3. Jack the annoying lover - very annoying
4. Scott the ex-lover
5. Harvey Milk - annoying
6. Victor Garber - needless character that was included only because Victor Garber likes to appear in every movie ever made but should have just stopped at Legally Blonde
7. Cleve Jones - no point in him
8. Guy who was crying with the candle in the last scene who kind of looks like James Franco

3 comments:

subdividedkid said...

Milk: Homosexuals :: Schindler's List : Jews

sometimes you just cant relate...

Robespierre said...

But see:

http://livinginnarnia.blogspot.com/2009/02/oscars-analysis-part-ii.html

subdividedkid said...

touche.

Do we need a biopic category? Although, seeing as TransAmerica and Brokeback Mountain were the last two "buzzworthy" queer-centered films...