Tuesday, January 13, 2009

The Bachelor Analysis I

Whose dream of marrying someone this corny will end tonight?

Transcript of official The Bachelor analysis taken from a Gchat conversation last night between Bachelor authority Risa and myself:

Risa: that show is way too long
7:43 PM me: seriously
7:44 PM Risa: he's not that interesting
me: it's hard to assess his personality
he doesn't seem hilarious
Risa: no he doesn't
me: or that intelligent
7:45 PM Risa: he seems pretty average
me: i bet he has a temper
he seems pretty boring
Risa: yeah
me: none of these girls is hilarious
none of the girls is ever hilarious
Risa: true
me: it's all just serious
Risa: they're all ready to move
for love
me: it's really nutty
7:46 PM no one is funny
they live in a world
where no one laughs
Risa: no
they are all desperate
and make women look beyond pathetic
me: love is on the line
Risa: "it was always my dream to be taken shopping!!!"
7:47 PM in the next episode, a girl gets to wear a really expensive necklace!!!!
7:49 PM me: so dumb
why the hell
would i care
if got a necklace on loan
Risa: because it is your life long dream
for a tv show
to give you a necklace
to wear temporarily
7:50 PM me: ha
Risa: jason is so amazing
i think he's the one that got away from me
me: ha
Risa: they also talked about his body
me: hahaha
i want to talk about his hairline
Risa: although
i saw he had back-ne
me: really
i didnt see that
Risa: it was spotted by me
in a close up
the foreign woman
was wearing the yellow dress
that kate hudson wore
7:52 PM in how to lose a guy
me: oh really?
i thought the dress
was bizarre
and too big
from Zum Zum or Jessica McClintock
VERY embarrassing
Risa: yeah
me: if deanna wins this
i won't be able to go on
it would be too cruel
7:53 PM who died and made her king
Risa: she's the new trista rehn me: ugh
nikki is hideola
she looks like swamp thing
and the stretch marks
Risa: i'm not sure who i like
me: on her boobs are ridiculous
i mean
this show is not broadcast in hi-def
and i could SEE those stretch marks
abort abort

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