Thursday, January 22, 2009

R.I.P. Crush on Jesse Cszizakscizk

Favorite movies include: Napoleon Dynomite [sic], Bad Boyz, The Notebook

Yesterday, it was brought to my attention that ex-DeAnna Fattass fiance Jesse Czinsizksizaczk had a new love interest, namely Holly Durst, who on was the most sham-filled Bachelor season thus far, The Bachelor: London Calling. You may recall this season because it has Matt Grant as the Bachelor, and he was a giant jerk who ultimately selected Shayne Lamas because he was truly in love with her and in no way due to the fact that she is Lorenzo Lamas' daughter. Normally I would be outraged upon hearing this news, because I have SPECIFICALLY ASKED Jesse to call me at least a dozen times, but the last time I didn't hear from him, I took matters into my own hands and checked his MySpace profile to see if he was busy or something.

It was there that I discovered that he attended a Vocational/Technical high school as his highest level of education which is in no way acceptable. Even more horrifying, two of his favorite movies include "Drill Bit Taylor" and "Fool's Gold." Again, completely unacceptable. I am not exaggerating when I say that these two facts killed anything I ever felt for him, but I was embarrassed to do a post on it because I have spent so much time on the blog and otherwise devising ways for him to be my boyfriend. But you readers deserve to know the truth - which is that Jesse is a bona fide idiot and I a fool (formerly) in love.

1 comment:

G Wolf said...


His chin emits enough power to electrify Belize for several years.