Friday, January 30, 2009
Where in the World is Jeff Van Vonderen?
In the post Intervention Needed on Intervention, I describe how A&E should just shut down production on Intervention because they're having aged chipmunk Ken Seeley and wax figure Candy Finnegan doing all the interventions this season instead of Jeff Van Vonderen, which is a recipe for lame interventions and incomplete recoveries. This morning I received a comment on my blog stating that Jeff had gone AWOL from the show because he had a "relapse in his own addiction and is receiving treatment for it." My first thought was that that could not possibly be true because Jeff's only addiction is to KICKING ASS AND TAKING NAMES. However, internet research revealed that Jeff took a leave of absence from the show because he relapsed back to drinking/gambling. I'm obviously devastated to hear this news, but I just want to tell Jeff, if he's reading this:
I'm here today because I love you but I feel like I'm losing you. I want you to join in the fight to get you back. I remember the time I first watched Intervention. It was with that woman who was a millionaire but an alcoholic, and had to take a limo cross-country to get to the treatment center. You encouraged this trainwreck to leave her pets and get help. But now all that's changed. You're not on the show anymore. You've left Ken and Candy to help these addicts but Ken has a bad tattoo and Candy looks insane. They also are not as effective as you and sometimes they steal your lines. If you do not come back to the show TODAY, the following will change in our relationship: I will no longer send people flowers for their birthday and sign the card "Jeff Van Vonderen." I will not save the Intervention episodes on my DVR with the intention of one day converting it into a DVD even though I don't know how to do that. I cannot stand by as you allow this show to be destroyed by Ken and Candy. Please accept this precious gift today.