Monday, January 5, 2009

Friendly Reminder Re: Bachelor Premiere TONIGHT

Will your DVR accept this rose?

Just a reminder that TONIGHT is the two hour season premiere of The Bachelor with Jason Mesnick on ABC starting at 8pm. You all remember Jason as the guy who has that annoying son named Ty that he constantly talks about, and whom DeAnna Fattass rejected on the show. This show promises exceedingly high levels of earnestness as well as extreme corniness, primarily due to Jason's overwhelmingly corny nature. Today is an especially important episode, as we the viewers will meet the girls, all of whom will be wearing Zum Zum prom dresses, who will then embarrass themselves by singing "Amazing Grace," playing trombone or doing push-ups in front of Jason in order to make a "good" first impression and not be immediately eliminated. Just as it is FAA regulation that flights may not take off without at least one screaming baby, so too does The Bachelor require that there be at least two girls on the show named the same thing, with the most viable contenders being "Jen" and "Crystal." I also hereby predict an implant to natural boob ratio of 4:1 among contenders.

Whose dream of marrying a divorcee with a child who works in HR will end TONIGHT?